


Out of the Shadows

by DryDreams



Series: Some kind of redemption story [2]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Frottage, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kissing, M/M, Minor Body Horror, just reaper stuff you know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-21 23:11:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13751190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DryDreams/pseuds/DryDreams
Summary: Jack could never have what he had before. That was gone forever.How could Reaper show Gabe’s face knowing that Jack would look into his eyes and see only the things he has lost and cannot get back.





	Out of the Shadows

**Author's Note:**

  * For [stuffy_j](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stuffy_j/gifts).



The night air is cool and humid at the same time, somehow. It is potentially a Tuesday, but who gives a fuck. Reaper doesn’t know how long he’s been watching over Jack like some sort of cowardly guardian angel—Well, no. He hasn’t been guarding shit. He hasn’t been guarding a damn thing and he’s very aware and it’s been months. The number of times he’s seen Jack sob and drink himself to sleep and wake up to vomit and cry more and sometimes break a bottle and take a real good piece and—

This is Reaper’s punishment, maybe. To watch Jack suffer in an endless loop. To know it’s his fault and there isn’t shit he can do. Is he punishing himself? He doesn’t know anymore. This is the theme, are you getting it yet? Reaper doesn’t know _anything._ He doesn’t know anything except that Jack hurts and something inside him does too. 

Why doesn’t Gabe go to him, you might ask. Wouldn’t being with him make Jack happy again? No. Because it's not that simple. 

Reaper isn’t Gabriel Reyes anymore. Reaper is a smoking trainwreck who betrayed everyone he ever loved and left his husband to burn and is not even a proper _shell_ of the man he was before that. Even if he wanted Jack, he doesn’t deserve that happiness. And how could Jack be happy with what was left of him? Jack could never have what he had before, when they were both full of light and love. That was gone forever, crushed under the weight of sins that could be forgiven but never forgotten. 

How could Reaper show Gabe’s face knowing that Jack would look into his eyes and see only the things he has lost and cannot get back.

So he is here, watching Jack’s shoulders shake as he hiccups, a sign that the sobs are slowing finally. Hidden, twisted up in the shadows. In a rare display of distress he lets himself slip to the floor and slither along the ground, not sure what his plan is for when he reaches the legs of Jack’s cot. 

To his complete shock, he doesn’t make it. Because Jack speaks. Not completely unusual, the man was known for confronting his demons in all sorts of ways. But Reaper stops in his tracks at the first word from Jack’s sore throat.

“Gabriel, I know you’re there.”

Reaper does not respond, for a moment chalking it up to a deluded fantasy. A prayer to someone dead. Jack continues.

“I’d rather you just kill me than sit and watch me make a fool of myself. Come out or leave.”

A prayer it is, then. But not a fantasy. Reluctantly Reaper coalesces beside the cot, rising to his full height. “How do you know you’re not dreaming, Jackie?” He growls. 

“Because you haven’t killed me yet,” comes the quiet response. Jack rolls onto his back, flicking on the light next to his cot. His eyes are bloodshot and his nose is red. He looks like shit. Reaper pulls a Hellfire from the darkness and points it at that beautiful face.

“Easy enough.” 

“Go ahead. Prove that I’m dreaming. I don’t care if I wake up or not,” Jack challenges. 

Something inside Gabe snaps. The gun evaporates and he turns away. “No.”

_“Do it!”_ Jack screams, his voice breaking. A hand reaches for Gabe’s wrist but he dissipates the limb and lets it slip right through. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Jack sit up and shove the covers away. “Fucking _do it!_ Instead of standing around like a _fucking_ coward and letting me have any ounce of hope when you know _damn_ well you aren’t going to give me what I want!”

He’s crying again. Deep, gasping inhales and choked exhales. Gabe tightens his fists so hard he thinks if he could break his bones he would. Jack whispers. “You don’t want me anymore, just _let me go.”_

There’s a moment of silence. Gabe doesn’t think, he just speaks. “What do you want?”

Another silence. This one stretches on as Jack quiets gradually. Gabriel waits for an answer.

When it finally comes it’s small, so small, with a timidness that doesn’t make sense from a man like Jack. “What?” He asks simply. As if he can’t believe what he’s heard. Gabe turns back around, slowly. 

“I said, what do you want? You seem to think you know what I want. Do you know what you want?”

Jack doesn’t blink as he looks back at Gabe. His blue eyes are sorrowful. “I want...you.”

“No you don’t.” It comes out with a growl that Gabe almost regrets. 

“Yes. I do. Nothing has changed. It’s always been you.”

“You want Gabriel Reyes. He isn’t here.”

Jack scoffs and looks away, finally. Gabe doesn’t. “Fuck off with your dramatic bullshit. You haven’t changed that much.”

“I’m not half the man I once—“

“Yeah, yeah.” Jack cuts him off. “Neither am I. What’s new?” 

Quickly, but not so quick that Jack couldn’t stop him if he wanted to, Gabe surges forward. He pushes Jack back on his cot, against the wall, lifting his arms and pinning them against the rough stone. Jack barely flinches, just tips his chin up slightly, a challenge in his eyes. Gabe stares into those pools of blue for a long moment and then slowly, carefully, kneels over Jack’s lap. Sits. “We aren’t the same, Jackie. Your scars are different than mine. I’ve killed—”

Jack gazes back into the black pits in the mask. He doesn’t hesitate in interrupting in a soft, quiet tone. “We’ve both killed. Show me your scars.”

When Gabe doesn’t respond right away, Jack repeats himself, more firmly. _“Show me.”_

Immediately Gabe wills the mask away and it dissipates, revealing a familiar face that he struggles to hold in place. At the sight of it Jack’s lips part in a quiet gasp and his eyes fill with tears. Then, as though he is holding back, he sets his jaw and blinks them away, frowning at Gabe. “I know you’re hiding. What’s the worst that can happen, Gabe? Are you afraid that I’ll _leave you?”_

The cutting irony isn’t lost to Gabe and he grunts, scowling. Before he lets the illusion fade, he looks away. He doesn’t want to see the way Jack looks at him. It’s been a long time since he fed and when he lets go—

He lets go. The change doesn’t feel like anything but relief, but he’s watched it happen before. Knows that now his face is shifting like shadows, eyes red and teeth jagged. Why this fantasy ghoul was a side effect of science gone wrong he’d never know, but sometimes he feels like he’d just rather be dead. Really dead. 

Jack is silent and still under him. Gabe tightens his grip on Jack’s wrists, testing and then Jack shifts, breaths out. “Look at me, please.”

Reluctantly Gabe flicks his gaze back to Jack’s face. There’s no trace of fear in Jack’s eyes. Sorrow, yes. But his gaze is soft and hurt and there’s a hint of want in there that Gabe hasn’t seen in a long, long time. “Are you happy now,” Gabe growls at him. “I’m a goddamn creature of the night. Nothing nostalgic here.”

“Can you make it so I can kiss you, please?” Jack asks. Politely. Gabe jerks back, dropping his hands. 

“What the fuck?” He hisses. Jack’s abashed expression might have been satisfying were Gabe not having a crisis on his lap. “You’re too fucking trusting, Morrison. The last time we met I shot you in the back.”

“No, the last time we met you watched me sleep and then left me alone. You’d think if you wanted me dead you would have done it by now.”

This brings Gabe pause. “How long have you known?”

Jack shrugs and looks away. 

“How long have you been just lying there waiting for me to kill you, Jack.”

Jack squeezes his eyes shut, like that will somehow make the question go away. _“Jack—“_

“Christmas. Since Christmas.”

Gabe blinks. “That was more than a _month_ ago Jack, are you serious!? You’ve just given up!? The Jack Morrison I knew would have nev—“

“The Jack Morrison you knew had Gabriel Reyes at his side,” Jack spits. “I’m nothing without you. I have nothing without you.”

“That’s not true.”

Gabe has spent months watching Jack cry but it never hurt like this to watch his breath hitch, _again_ and his face crumple. “I don’t want to be anything without you.”

On an impulse he’ll likely regret later, Gabe gathers himself, feels his skin knit back together and darts his tongue out to lick at his lips, just to make sure they’re there. Then he leans in, tugging Jack to face forward and kisses him. 

The soft wanting noise Jack immediately makes shivers through Gabe. He should never have come into the light, there is no going back now. The taste of salty tears and whiskey cuts through Gabe’s numbed sensation. Jack’s lips are chapped and bitten. Gabe _aches_ for them. 

Rough, calloused hands slide up to cup his face as Jack pulls him closer, needy, kissing him like a drowning man. He feels his flesh react to the touch, shifting under Jack’s fingers. Something in him wants to wrap around those hands and pull them into himself, pull Jack closer than he’s ever been. He could. Not now.

Instead he forces himself to pull back. Jack follows him, not wanting to let him go, leans so far before giving up the chase, dropping his hands to his sides. They just stare at each other for a few long moments. Jack is panting, flushed. He’s obviously holding himself in check and waiting for Gabe to make a move. Giving him all the control. 

Fuck, they're both so _stupid._ “I could do anything to you right now,” Gabe whispers. “You’ve always had a lack of self preservation but this is low.” 

Jack _whimpers,_ the high-pitched sound escaping through his parted lips. His tongue darts out to wet them. His hips jerk and Gabe hisses. “Do your worst,” Jack says, voice shaky. “You know I’ll take anything you have to give me.”

Gabe feels a little sick at Jack’s complete lack of a fight. At the same time, he is past the point of resisting. Rolling his hips down is a mistake. The resulting friction sends a shock of pleasure through him and Jack jerks, making another desperate noise. 

There’s a tinge of spite when Jack initiates the next kiss, but Gabe shoves it down deep and kisses back. Those greedy hands return, pushing down Gabe’s hood and threading through his hair. Gabe lets himself touch back, wrapping his hands around Jack’s waist. The small of his back is damp with sweat. 

Jack arches suddenly up and the angle sends another spark up Gabe’s spine. With one forceful move he twists them, putting Jack on his back and following him down. They’re slotted together now and it takes no effort for Gabe to take what little he wants, rubbing against where Jack is so hard for him, so easily. Jack moans wantonly into his mouth. 

This desperate, embarrassing display is the last thing either of them expected but now that he is in the midst of it Gabe can’t think of any other logical way this could have ended. He should have known there was nothing he could do to resist Jack goddamn Morrison. If anything this is the best possible outcome, rutting like teenagers. He’s still got some of his dignity. Maybe. 

Jack sucks on Gabe’s tongue, hard and Gabe focuses, making sure it doesn’t come apart. 

_Come. Apart._

Goddammit, what is he _doing._ This isn’t the old days, this could never be the _same. This is why he’d been hiding._

What would happen if he lost control, started to drift away, disappear. Jack would be horrified. Reaper isn’t built for love anymore. 

With some effort, Gabe wrenches himself away from Jack and sits up. To his surprise….horror….arousal, _god he is so beautiful_ \-- Jack takes this exact moment to arch his back, press his hips up, shudder and come in his pants. Gabe blinks down at him, gut twisted with emotion. Jack still has tears running down the sides of his face and he’s taking in deep, shaky breaths. The way he’s staring at the ceiling makes Gabe feel something he rarely feels. Terror.   
Of course Jack doesn’t want to look anymore. He’s come to his senses, realized that Reaper is a mistake, regrets what he’s done. Slowly Gabe starts to edge away, making to climb off, not sure what his escape plan is, there are two doors--

Quick as a flash Jack reaches out and grabs his wrist again. This time Gabe stays solid. Lets Jack hold him back. He feels sick.

“Don’t you dare leave.”

Gabe stills. He doesn’t leave.

“Look at me.”

Gabe looks. He searches again for the disgust in Jack’s eyes. There’s still none, no matter how much he feels like there should be. 

“I don’t know what’s going on inside your head but don’t you dare try to tell yourself that I don’t want you.”

“You have no idea,” Gabe whispers. “It only gets worse.”

With some effort, Jack pushes himself to sit. Gabe expects him to yell again, maybe. Or go in for another kiss. Instead Jack gently embraces him. He doesn’t pull or take, just rests his head on Gabe’s chest and holds onto him. 

“I love you,” Jack says, voice muffled. “I’ll always love you, no matter what. _Please_ come back to me.”

It occurs to Gabe that this is as much convincing as he’s going to get. There’s nothing more Jack can give him or ask of him. He’s given everything tonight. 

Slowly Gabe brings a hand up to rest on Jack’s shoulder. “I don’t know how,” he confesses. He has no idea how to be Gabriel Reyes anymore, how to be _Jack’s_ anymore.

“Stay. Just stay, don’t leave me.” 

There’s a moment of silence. It’s full of tangible anticipation.

“Okay.” 

There’s no spite to overcome this time. There’s plenty of guilt, but for a moment Gabe can ignore it. He lets Jack pull him down again and fit them together on the too-small cot. He softens his sharp edges. He breathes. 

Jack breathes. Slower, after a while. Asleep. 

He always fell asleep quickly. When they were younger he slept like the dead. Not so much, anymore. But maybe with Gabe here…

Testing, Gabe shifts and jostles him. Presses a kiss to his forehead. Jack doesn’t even stir. In fact, his face seems to relax further. There’s the hint of a smile. 

Time to go.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Julia so I was totally gonna write this for you anyways just because I wanted to write it, and then your birthday came along and I was like WOW a perfect motivator so here it is. MUAH happy birthday


End file.
